Once every few months, the pile of sticky notes and to-do lists on my desk gets high enough that I have to accept defeat and reset them. When I do, I transcribe the incomplete ones into a new consolidated list and pitch the completed ones in the recycling bin. During this process, I inevitably discover a large number of tasks that I did not complete, most of them unimportant in hindsight, but often I discover one or more that were important, which I‘d forgotten about. These are typically not the ones that impact my finances, my safety, or my physical health, but most often my relationships with others and myself. It’s easy, especially in the world of constant notifications, to pay the most attention to the loudest thing in the room, whether literal or metaphorical. This is indeed the purpose of the sticky notes, to be colorfully loud, in the way, obtrusive; to demand the attention of my eyeballs.

In Judaism, we have, in theory, many such reminders. Kippot on our heads. Mezuzot on our doorposts. The presence of challah and the absence of pork and shellfish in our grocery carts. Based on the comments of others, both Jews and non-Jews, these are the most apparent signs of Jewishness, but the focus of today’s prayer, seems to be one of two edot, testimonial mitzvot, that curiously divides Jews from Jews. While tzitzit are commonly seen in our shul on the corner of our tallit gadol, widely carried and abundantly available, few non-Orthodox Jews wear tzitzit outside of the synagogue. It seems that this explicit non-observance was by design since the earliest days of the German Reform movement in the 1840s which rejected external ethnic markers and apparently arcane and sexist practices. On top of this, there was the simple matter that few if any of the garments worn had four corners anymore, obviating the need for tzitzit. After 100 years, a variety of internal and external pressures, or lack thereof, allowed the tallit to return to the synagogues of beginning in the 1960s and by the end of the 1980s, tallitot were again the norm, but not the tallit katan and the tzitzit at their corners.

When I see folks outside of shul wearing their tzitzit, I have a mix of concern and shame; concern that they will not accept me as a Jew if they see my kippah without tzitzit and shame that I’m not yet brave enough to wear them. I have used and benefited from my looks to ‘blend in’, whether with a double-cap or no cap system that’s easy to engage, and guilt-low since there is no mitzvah for kippot. But with tzitzit, to tuck them away, to hide them would feel for me an insult, an act of cowardice. Plus, I tell myself, I’d sweat too much with an extra layer, it’s more laundry… And they’re annoyingly long, and in the way! I have kids and dogs, they’d get caught in them, in my insulin pump line; I can make up a ton of reasons why not to wear them, so why should I?

When researching for this week’s discussion I was intrigued to learn a story in the Talmud where a man is planning to make use of a famous, and expensive, lady of the evening. He travels to her and as they prepare to sin on her lavish seven-bed setup, his tzitzit strike his face, jolting him into stopping. He explains they are a mitzvah reminding him that G-d rewards and punishes and feel like witnesses against him. Moved, the lady asks for details, and is moved to give away her wealth and seeks conversion. before marrying him. Tzitzit are so powerful it seems that they can not only prevent transgressions, but in the Sages’ opinion, makes earlier actions lawful. My takeaway from a week of reflecting on this mitzvah and the associated blessing, is that there is power in not only wrapping ourselves in the tallit gadol, but in giving ourselves a reminder, even if it can be scary and annoying, that our actions are meaningful in the world. The tallit katan can let us do this and further remind us that who we are and what we do impacts those around us as well. I may not be brave enough to put it on every day, but I have today and I hope to do so more often.

Praised to You Adonai our G-d, who rules the universe,
instilling in us the holiness of mitzvot by
commanding us to wrap ourselves in tzitzit.

Blessed are You, Adonoy our God, King of the Universe, 
Who sanctified us with His commandments
and commanded us concerning the commandment of tsitsit....

Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe,
who has sanctified us with Your commandments,
and commanded us concerning the precept of tzitzit.…

Ha-Siddur Ha-Shalem (1949)
Source: archive.org
Digitization: Sefaria
License: [missing]

Blessed are You, our Living G-d,
Sovereign of the universe,
whose commandments make us holy and
who commands us to concerning the commandment of Tsitsit (tassels).

Seder Ha-T’fillot, Forms of Prayer

BLESSED ARE YOU, Adonai our G-d,
Sovereign of the universe,
who hallows us with mitzvot,
commanding us to wrap ourselves in the fringes.